Sick
at heart,
frustrated
by my
inability
to stem
injustice;
overwhelmed
by
orchestrated
efforts
of
a phalanx
of
our social, criminal
and
fiscal public agencies
to
"get" one dedicated
ex-con-former-addict
now
operating an unwanted
halfway
house for
pushed-out
mental patients
and
throw-away parolees
with
no place else to go.
Discards.
Misfits.
Untreatables.
He
had it "working,"
paying
bills, dispensing
love
and patience
to
his forty human rejects.
And
now it's gone.
Up
roared the squad cars,
Feds
and Locals,
sealed
the street,
shotgunned
and bullet-proofed,
ostensibly
to find
illegal
weapons.
Forty
frightened folks are
herded
in the street
to
wait the search.
No
guns, of course.
Two
further hours search
produced
the damning
"evidence":
old
forgotten
vials of
methadone
and morphine
left
three years from
one
deceased of cancer.
My
friend is cuffed
and
hauled to jail.
Then
comes the Health Department,
followed
by MHMR,
next
auditors,
the
BPP*:
to
cite and write
and
cluck their tongues
at
violated regulations.
Big
deal.
Some
gang busters.
Frightened,
weeping, pleading
clients
dragged to
waiting
vans and hauled away
to
places that had failed them
years
before.
What
sinister and hidden
power
pulled this NIMBY?
(Not
In My Back Yard!)
Power
strong enough
to
marshall all the minions
of
respectable bureaucracy,
to
kill passion?
They'll
shut it down,
this
"Rose Garden."
The
poor, the reject, those
emotionally
incompetent,
they
never get a hearing,
and
never have the cash
to
fight the system.
In
the establishment
who
really cares?
My
friend will beat
his
phony rap.
But
time arrays
against
the "Garden":
five
mortgages won't wait,
the
staff released,
the
cash flow stopped.
He
jousted "City Hall"
and
lost, inevitably.
Why
does it seem that evil
owns
the badges, regulations,
and
certified practitioners?
While
naked, serving love
is
helpless, crucified?
Ancient
paradigm,
which
having known before
should
leave us unsurprised
it
comes again in every age.
Just
the same,
to
see such hideous raw
abuse
of power
cannot
but sicken anyone
with
half a heart
for
underdogs.
By:
Reverend
Wallace E. Chappell
United
Methodist, Retired
October
10, 1989
*Board of Pardons and Paroles
"Living to Die For Crack"
From
the moment the pipe touched your lips
You
began chasing that first high;
The
euphoric ecstasy you felt in your brain
Was
more beautiful than your first orgasm.
From
the moment the pipe touched your lips
I
began chasing after the why.....
The
roller coaster grew more erratic with time--
You
eventually gave your heart and soul over
To
the lure of a promise of everlasting bliss.
Your
love for crack grew into a monster;
Robbing
you of peace as I searched in vain
For
the man I once knew; the man I miss.
Crack
would whisper to your heart; tugging at you,
And
you thought you could control your desire.
You
claimed you could fight it with no help,
But
deep down you knew it was lie.
The
consequences and the shattered dreams
dim
in comparison to the urge.
It
didn't matter how you got ‘her' back;
Leaving
pain and destruction in your path
Because
for ‘her' you live to die!
By
Sherri Slaton
09/30/07
"Illusions"
Touching
this moment in our hearts;
Dwelling
on the feeling of acceptance.
Capturing
the sound of your voice,
Branding
it within my mind.
Holding
the touch of your hand,
Close
to my breasts...
Knowing
that when I awaken
The
sound of you will echo within.
The
touch of you will linger,
But
your love that nurtured me
Is
but an illusion...
By
Sherri Slaton
The
International Library
Of
Poetry
Tracing
The Infinite
2004
"In The Shadows Of A Stalker"
It began on a beautiful spring day in the early 90's. A young mother pulling her two children in a red wagon through the streets of her neighborhood suddenly felt wary of her surroundings. Something wasn't right and she picked up her pace while perpetually looking over her shoulder.
Then she saw it. A blue car had passed her a few times and it was back again! Her children remained placid and unaware of their mothers' discomfort. She told herself to remain calm and keep walking. You are too paranoid, she told herself but she still couldn't shake the feeling that the person driving the blue car meant danger.
She was almost home and the blue car approached her, looming ever closer, and her heart began to race. Then she saw his face and made eye contact. Who was this man? His piercing blue eyes never wavered from her face yet he did not speak. She realized she had stopped walking and hurried to get away. He drove slowly just behind her but she refused to look back again.
She made it to the driveway and he sped off as she turned around to see which way he went. Okay, you're really freaking yourself out so get a grip! She put this incident out of her mind as she entered the house.
The next day she again took her children for a wagon ride and again the man in the blue car was lurking behind her but she ignored his presence and refused to look at him. A week passed and the man continued to follow her and the once carefree mother now started looking over her shoulder each time she left the house.
She changed her daily schedule so she wouldn't run into him but he seemed to always be there no matter where she went. She drove different routes on her errands but he was ever present. She started suffering from anxiety and every thought centered around this stranger in her life who terrorized her in her dreams.
One day she went shopping and took her two small children with her. She breathed a sigh of relief because she didn't see the man in the blue car. She let her guard down and relaxed thinking that she'd never see that man again and her life could get back to normal.
She parked and exited the car but she was startled by a flash of light and quickly shut and locked her children inside the car. She looked around for the source of the light and that's when she saw him with a camera. He was within five feet of her and she was so terrified she failed to react.
He grabbed her roughly and carried her to a truck which sat next to her car and opened the door and shoved her down on the seat. She realized he'd switched vehicles and she'd had a false sense of security. She heard her daughter scream and only then did she react. She started kicking him; trying to get away from his hands that were touching her body. He held her down and raised her dress and immediately felt his hand inside her panties. My God, he was going to rape her in the parking lot!
She screamed for help but the parking lot was deserted except for one man who scurried to get away from the scene. Maybe he thought it was a domestic dispute? "Please help me!" But her pleas were ignored.
The man attacking her told her he was going to make love to her and make her his. His mouth crushed her lips as his hands moved over her body. He told her she belonged to him and he was taking her home. Why was he doing this to her? She didn't even know him!
He was a large man and she didn't see any way out of this situation so she told herself to relax her body. Just pretend he's not there. Once she went limp he eased his grip on her and raised up. Once he did she kicked him between the legs as hard as she could and he doubled over in pain. She bolted from the truck and ran to her car.
She managed to get inside before he had a chance to recover. She locked the doors and was trembling so much she could barely start the car. She kept looking at him while attempting to put the keys in the ignition. She was frantic and her one thought was to get as far away from him as she could. She got the car started as he reached the car and she put it in gear and spun her tires leaving him behind her.
She rushed home and told her husband what had just occurred. He took her to the police station where she filed assault by contact against him. Stalking wasn't against the law and she didn't want to tell the police that he touched her sexually because she was ashamed and omitted this information from the police and her husband until much later.
She went to Municipal Court to testify against him but she wasn't permitted to say that he was stalking her because he wasn't on trial for that but once his attorney asked her how they met she blurted out that she met him when he began stalking her. The attorney objected. She told the Judge that she was only answering the attorney's question and that's how she met him. The Judge allowed her testimony and the man was found guilty of the charges against him. The stalker had a wife who tried to give him an alibi during the hearing and she stood by him through all of it.
It was during these proceedings that she learned this man was on parole as a rapist and she would have to testify again at a parole hearing. She testified and he was found guilty again and was sent back to prison.
The day came when the stalker was released from prison. She became guarded and started looking over her shoulder once more. To her, he was still a stalker and a rapist and knew he could be capricious.
She received word that the stalker had accidently shot himself in the head, not knowing that the gun was loaded. His last words were, "Oh my God!"
The woman attended the funeral and sat apart from everyone else. She disguised her identity so the stalker's wife wouldn't recognize her. She wept during the services but not for his death but because she finally felt safe.
She stayed until after the mourners had left. She stayed while the grave diggers came to retrieve the coffin and they tried to convince her to leave but she refused. She followed the grave diggers to the burial site and stood there and watched as they lowered the coffin into the grave. She stood silently as they buried him. She stayed long after the grave diggers left.
She
looked down at the mound of dirt and as she walked away she didn't
look over her shoulder because she no longer lived within the shadows
of a stalker and would never have to wonder where he was
again.......that woman was me.
By:
Sherri Slaton
02/28/07
"Silent
Screams"
Here
comes the darkness again; wrapping itself around a small child. No,
please go away!.... but the darkness descends even further. Silent
screams of terror fill the heart of this little girl struggling to
rise above the darkness. The blackness transforms itself into a life-sapping
form; readying itself to devour the child.
The
child lies motionless now awaiting her fate that she knows she must
endure again. No place to run, no place to hide. God, are you out
there? Please help me! I promise to be good! Silence echoes
throughout the regions of her world.
The
dark shape is hovering over her now as his eyes whisper of the evil
about to befall her. She closes her eyes hoping he will vanish but
his touch lets her know that he remains to overpower her and render
her his slave. Breasts that haven't formed are ravished as he
assaults her virginal body. The child loses herself in torment;
rising above the precipice of hell where she knows the monster cannot
reach her.
Below,
she watches as her body is being devoured by her tormentor and she
laughs soundlessly. Soon the monster retreats but she hasn't returned
to herself yet. She clings to the freedom of escape where she is safe
for now....
Written
by: Sherri Slaton
Date:
August 18, 1995
